Dear Diary: The Lily PotterEvans Story
by Jazzy Soul
Summary: Lily Potter has hit a rough spot in her marriage. Her husband is cheating and she's pregnant. While on a raid in Malfoy Manor, she finds a book... with the name Tom Riddle inscribed on the back. She takes it and soon meets its charismatic occupant...
1. Chapter 1

((Disclaimer... Shouldn't have to say it, but everyone already knows that these characters don't belong to me. Happy reading!))

It was time. Lily Potter stood beside her husband James outside the manor of a pureblood family with refuted ties to the Dark Lord. Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy were said to be high up in the ranks behind He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Tonight they would raid their home, and hopefully, learn something about the wizard who had done darker deeds than any before him. Dumbledore spoke quietly to the witches and wizards circled around him.

"Be careful in this house. These people are not good, nor honorable. They may have booby trapped things. Lily, Minerva, go upstairs and check the upper level. Sirius, James, Remus, take the main floor. Moody and I will take the lower level. Be quick, be silent, be cautious. If you are caught, raise any sort of alarm, and flee with your partner or anyone you can get to. Flee for your life, because they will not hesitate to kill."

James turned to her as the others rushed off. "Lily, please be careful. We both have something more important than ourselves to live for now." His hand came gently to her belly, where they both knew a child was growing.

"I always did, Jamie, and so did you. You just didn't realize it until you realized I was carrying your child." She moved away from him, into the house, blocking her sad thoughts about her marriage, and focusing on what needed to be done to right the world before she brought her child into it.

She and the other woman scoured the upper floors of the house. She stopped as she walked past a door that sent a deep, resonant pulse straight to her belly. She opened it quietly, slipped inside, wand at the ready. Candle light illuminated a starkly bare, tiny room. It looked like a dungeon without prisoners, chains on the walls and floor, and no decorations what-so-ever. Instead, in the center of the room, a table sat. On the table were some objects, but none that seemed to fit in this room. An ink vat and quill, a skill with a candle in its sawed open top. The pulse rumbled through the room, and through her, and she knew what it was that had made it happen… the last object on the table. A book. A black book.

She moved towards the table as if hypnotized. She had the book in her hands before she realized she'd even picked it up. She turned it over wonderingly, and on the back, she spotted dulled gold words.

_Property of Tom Riddle_

"Who are you, Tom Riddle? What did these people do to you?" She whispered. A crash sounded from downstairs and a screaming loud alarm went up. She dropped the book, was by the door before the pulse drummed violently through her again. It was an urgent demand—_Take the book, take it now! TAKE THAT BOOK!—_ but she knew she shouldn't. Her name was shouted and she looked down the hall towards the sound. Remus was calling her. So was the book. As the young man landed from some leap at the top of the stairs and rushed towards her, she was torn between rushing to him and grabbing the object that was tormenting her.

"Lily! We've been seen! We're caught! Your fool husband was certain he found something and knocked over a damned bookshelf. It made a sound like a thousand elephants thundering through the house. We have to get out of here. Everyone but Jamie and Sirius have already gone. They're down stairs playing heroes and covering us."

"I…I… Remus, do you see what's on that table?"

"Yes, Lily, I see it, and I don't care. We have to go!"

"There's something… odd. About the book, there, on that table. I haven't opened it, but I'm dying to. There's a name on it, a boy's name… Maybe the boy's dead. Maybe it's all a trap. But I want it. If I take that book, Remus, do you swear you'll never tell anyone?"

"No! Don't take anything from this house, from these people! We have to get out of here!" A scream sounded from downstairs, and the man's eyes fixed as they bled out until all that could be seen was black.

"Fenrir Greyback." He growled. "Find Jamie and get out of here. Now. And leave that damn book where it is, Lily!" He leapt back down the hallway, and by the time he hit the ground again, he was changed and on all fours. It was something she'd never seen him do… changing outside the full moon. Apparently, Mooney made exceptions when it came to other werewolves, especially cruel werewolf overlords.

"Remus! Where the hell is Lily?" James's voice was furious and winded.

"Up there, I'm betting, Prongs, old boy. I'll fetch her, get her out of here. You grab Mooney, and drag him home."

"Hurry up! And be gentle with her, Padfoot, she's—Damn scum bag dark wizards, attacking a man's back! Don't you know who you're dealing with—!" Lily tuned out her husband's roaring voice. She ran to the table, and stuffed the book under her cloak as Sirius grabbed her.

"Sorry, Super Girl, but the search is over and The Justice League has to go." His strong arms closed around her from behind as he whispered in her ear.

"Sirius!"

"Hush." The loud snap that sounded a second later said he'd dragged her with him when he apparated. When their feet hit terra firma, she stomped on his toes and sent him yelping away from her. "What was that for, Evans?" He demanded. She whirled on him, green eyes flashing.

"Keep your hands off me, puppy." She snapped. She turned back towards the gates behind them and walked up towards the school that held so many memories, both good and bad. Sirius had apparated them to the gates of Hogwarts. He loped along beside her, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"You know, when we were here before all this war stuff started, you wanted my hands on you." He teased.

"You flatter yourself, Dog Boy. And I'll remind you that I'm married to your best friend. You need to find someone else to put your hands on."

"But I want you, Lily." He waggled his eye brows and she moved faster.

"Go away, Sirius. I'm not in the mood to play this game with you tonight."

"No one is play games with you, Evans."

"It's Potter now!" She said bitterly. "And go away!" He grabbed her, spun her to face him.

"Dammit, Lill, what's your problem lately? Why won't you talk to me—!"

"I'm pregnant, Sirius!" She shouted. He stopped, jaw slackening.

"How far along are you? Does anyone else know? Jesus, Lily… You sure know how to take the wind out of a friendly rant…"

"It's only 2 months. Jamie's been buying everything he could possibly find for a baby boy. He's thrilled." She whispered. "I only told him because I thought it would stop him from cheating. There's been a string of women, Sirius, and I'm so tired of waiting for him to love me again. He went out and found a woman the night I told him I was having our child."

"Lily. I don't know what to say… I want to tell you our Jamie would never do that, But I can't because he would. I'm sorry you feel unloved, that your husband isn't doing what he should. I'll talk with him. And in the mean time, Lily… Know that I'll always be here for you." He hugged her. Lily Potter belonged to his brother-friend. She wanted him. They were married, and had once been in love with each other. That had never stopped him from dreaming of her, after their brief foray in to swinging and open relationships back in their final, amazing year at Hogwarts. He wanted Lily Potter. Wanted her bad, even though it couldn't be. He rubbed her arms gently, feeling the biting January wind pick up. "Come on. Let's get you up to the castle. You'll catch a chill."

He led her to the large doors of the Entrance Hall, drew her inside, and to the Great Hall. James practically tackled them as they came into view.

"Sirius! There's my boy! You were a demon in that fight, mate, you were bloody brilliant! I loved the partial change! I mean, growing dog teeth and biting somebody, wow! That was--!"

"Jamie. Say hello to your wife." The reprimand was obvious in Sirius's tone, and for a moment, the eager, vibrant young Potter stalled out. But his smile brightened almost instantly as he moved to Lily and drew her into his arms.

"Honey, I'm so glad you made it back safe."

"Jamie…"

"All that fighting can't be good for the baby, though. Maybe you should relax as far as the Order is concerned, at least until the baby is born."

"Translation… I should do as you say and drop out of the Order, Jamie?" She said, pulling away. It was almost 12 AM. The Hall was empty but for ministry workers. None of them were close enough to hear as she continued. "The baby and I are fine and healthy. Maybe you would've known that if you'd been at the doctor with us instead of out chasing your whores. And by the way, you may want to tell them to cool it. It's very telling when you walk into a room and certain females perk up."

"Lily! You know I'd never cheat on you. Who put all this nonsense in your head?" he replied, a feigned look of shock on his face. She wasn't fooled.

"Rosemerta keeps excellent and very thorough records, Jamie. All those nights in Hogsmeade when you could have stayed here, who paid for the rooms, and who paid for the drinks. The people in that village know me. They wouldn't have kept mum even if you asked them to."

"Lily. It's not true." He took her face in his hands, kissed her tenderly. He pressed his forehead to hers, and kept on kissing her as he spoke, rocking her back and forth. "I love you, Lily Potter. I would never in a million years touch another woman. You're the only one I want." Parched for his tenderness, she soaked it up like an emotional sponge. But when he pulled her a little closer, so that their hips pressed together, she laid her hand in the center of his chest, stopping his budding seduction. "Don't pull away from me, Lily. You won't listen when I try to tell you how much I love you… So I'll show you instead."

"Sex doesn't stem from love, it stems from lust. And maybe you could have shown me all this love when I was sleeping alone and you weren't." She was left him, and was part way up the stairs on her way to the visitor's tower when she realized he'd followed her.

"Lily, don't walk away from me. We need to talk about this."

"We don't need to talk about anything. I'm going to bed, and you're going to … do what ever you do when you're not harassing me about this baby or off with your—"

"Stop saying whores in front of our child!" He reprimanded sharply. "Lily, stop!" She whirled on the stairs, and he stopped just short of running into her.

"You have absolutely no right to tell me what I can and can't say or do, James, when I've spent more time alone than with you since I said 'I do.'"

"And you did say 'I do.' So did I, Lily." He pulled her gently, insistently into his arms. "I said 'I do' with you, and I put my ring on your finger. Maybe I haven't been the best husband up till now. But I can do better. I'll never touch another woman again, I won't even look! I'll stay home with you and Baby, and I'll… I'll…" He trailed off, unsure what else to say.

"You can list things you'll do until you're blue in the face, Jamie, but it won't change anything. Only your actions will do that, and we both know you won't change those." She replied. "You were only different around me when we were younger because I said no to you when others didn't. You were a womanizer then, I was a challenge you conquered, and you're a womanizer again." Tears spilled over her lashes and splashed down her cheeks.

"She's telling the truth, Old Boy. I remember your younger days, indeed I do. Womanizing is a rather hard habit to break." A painting of a man dressed like an old English Lord, giggling maiden in arms, spoke above them. James glared at it.

"Maybe I'm not like that anymore. I love Lily." He snapped. He pressed his lips to his wife's temple. "I love you. You know I love you. You're the only one I've ever loved…" She struggled away from him with a sob and left him standing there on the steps. Her words as she walked away remained as well.

"The saddest thing, Jamie, is that I love you too."

It was almost 3 AM. Lily sat up in the bed her absentee husband had for once decided to grace with his presence. She had let him make love to her because, stupidly perhaps, she'd wanted the contact, that love that he would always give to her… and just about anyone else who might ask. Her gaze wandered across the candlelit room to her desk, where Tom Riddle's book lay safely in the middle drawer. Should she get up and open it now? Finally? When James rubbed against her in the semi-darkness, hands seeking her body even in sleep, she slipped from the bed with a sigh. Letting him touch her once had been a mistake. Twice would be a disaster… and another hairline fracture in her already broken heart.

She sat down in the comfortable chair that she'd brought with her from their home, and opened the magically sealed drawer. The book was as she'd left it, and her pulse thrummed a little harder in anticipation. Anything could lie on these pages, between the covers. She closed her eyes as she laid one slender hand on the cover, and lifted it with slow deliberation. When she opened them again, she looked down and saw…

… Nothing.

The book was completely blank. And it wasn't a book at all… This was Tom Riddle's utterly bare diary.

"Well, that's a let down." She muttered, disappointed. "I guess they killed you or were rid of you in their own way before you ever scribbled a word, huh, Tom? Well, you and your diary can be my confidants. I'll write what you never did." Dipping her eagle quill into the lilac colored ink she always used, she began to write.

'Dear Diary

My name is Lillian Potter-Evans.'

She paused, unsure what to write next, and gasped as the words bled down the page into new black words.

_Hello, Lillian. How do you do?_

She dipped the quill again, wrote quickly.

Are you a response diary? What is this?

_Ha-ha. No, my name is Tom. Tom Riddle._

She sat for a moment, stunned. She had a horrible suspicion about this diary and its owner. Unsure how to proceed, she started to close the diary when words appeared again.

_Please don't go. I couldn't bear it._

'But how is this possible? Is this the Malfoys' doing? Are you trapped in this book?'

_After a fashion. But I belong here. I have no body, you see._

Startled, she scribbled back. 'No body? Are you dead, Tom Riddle?'

_No, Lillian. But my body left this small part of its soul with another for safe keeping. Frankly, I'm stunned to meet you. But not displeased… No, not displeased. What young red-blooded male would be disappointed with meeting an interesting lady like you?_

She smiled at the compliment. 'I'm an old married lady, Tom.'

_Old is a frame of mind. How old are you, then?_

'23. And pregnant.'

_That's lovely. Boy or girl?_

'My husband is positive we're having a boy.'

There was a long pause, before words came back. _The way you wrote that… slowly, haltingly… why? Are you ill pleased with your pregnancy?_

'No! I love my baby already!'

_Are you unhappy with your husband then?_

As she started to write back, hands came down on her shoulders and teeth took a gentle love bite at her throat. She jumped, slamming the book shut.

"Come back to bed, Lily. What are you doing all the way over here?" James whispered, still nibbling at her throat. She shivered. How she hated the expertise of his hands, because he had gained so little of it with her.

"I was writing. Jamie, stop it." She said.

"Nope. Come back to bed, baby. I want to show you again how much I love you."

"I don't need to be shown again. Please, Jamie, stop. I'll be over in a minute."

"A short minute. A very, very short one." He lifted her face to his, and kissed her thoroughly before moving back to the bed. She opened the book again. Tom's words still shimmered on the page.

I have to go. Good night. Tom.

_Good night, Lillian. Please write to me again soon._

I'll try.

"Lily. Come back to bed now. I want to hold you." She heard James wheedle. She put the book in the drawer and locked it with a wave of her hand. When she turned around, her husband lay sprawled temptingly across the bed. He was wearing nothing but a smile.

"Jamie, it's late. Let's just go to bed." She said quietly, eyes off to the side.

"I know what time it is. Don't be scared, Lily, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to love you."

"That's what you've always said, Jamie. And we both know it's hogwash. I'm nothing special to you. I'm a warm body to spend some of your indomitable lust on." She replied quietly.

"Not true. You're something very special to me… you're my wife. Come here, Lily. We should talk. We haven't talked to each other for so long." He gave her a charming little smile and she shook her head.

"I'd rather go to sleep, Jamie. I'm tired. We can talk in the morning."

"I know that trick, Lily. You'll get up at the crack of dawn and have gone on about your day by the time I wake up. Come on, Lill. Let's have some conversation, you, me and Baby."

"I just can't win with you, Jamie Potter… I just can't win." She heaved a disgusted sigh, went and sat on the bed. He pulled her up so he was reclining against the pillows and she sat between his knees, back to his chest. He pulled her robe down off her shoulders, and she snatched at it. He lifted his hands in mock surrender.

"Calm down. I was just going to rub your shoulders. You're so tense, you're liable to snap in half if I don't." He said. She settled as he drew the robe down again, and began to massage gently. He pressed a gentle kiss beneath her ear. "You really don't trust me any more, do you, Lily? You used to be so eager to get your clothes off when we were together in a bed. Now you're scared to even let me even pull your robe down a little without an explanation. I don't want us to be like this, Lily."

"I gave up everything I had for you, Jamie. My family, my home… and you have yet to give me one good reason why it wasn't the worst mistake I've ever made."

"The worst mistake you ever made? Lily, you were miserable there! They didn't love you!"

"I'm miserable here, and neither do you!"

"But that's all going to change starting tonight. And in July it'll be even better because then Jr. will be born." He pushed the robe farther down, to her waist, and cupped her budding belly. "Then we'll be a family."

"Jr.? You've already named him?" She replied.

"James Potter III. It's a good name… you're going to give birth to our baby, our beautiful baby, in just seven months. Aren't you happy about it?"

"I'm…scared."

Startled, he turned her face to his. "Scared? I've never given you a reason to be afraid of me!"

"Not _of_ you. For the baby. For your relationship with the baby. For us. I need you to tell me now if you can't stop with the women, Jamie. Because if you can't… then I'm going to file for divorce."

"Divorce!" His face was ashen. "Lily, I swear, I'm done. Not another woman for as long as we live. I'm yours. All yours."

"Let's see how long you can keep that promise this time." She replied quietly.

"You have no faith in me at all, do you?" he asked, sounding shaken. "No trust whatsoever."

"You could have sold me a herd of unicorns when we first got married, Jamie… I'd have told you to keep the change as you went on your merry way, and waited patiently for the damn things to come in the mail. But now… my rose-colored glasses are full of cracks. And I'm not interested in a new pair. Be honest with me, and for once, be honest with yourself. Can you be with only me for the rest of our lives?"

"I'm charming. I can't help it. People want me, Lily, and I have very poor impulse control. Why don't you cut me a little slack, at least for a little while?" he demanded.  
"Why don't you stop making excuses?" She countered. "Why did you marry me if you weren't going to be faithful to me? Why did you make me believe you loved me?" Her voice caught on a sob. "When it wasn't true?"

"Lily." He kissed her gently. "I do love you. I'm just no good at being a husband yet. I'll try harder. I'll do everything right. I'll be in our bed every evening, except when we're apart for Order things. You don't have to cry anymore, baby. I'm here now."

As James continued to hold her and make his empty promises, Lily stared at the fire that danced merrily in the grate across from the bed.

_He's mine again for now… But how long can this possibly last? I love him so much…_


	2. Chapter 2

Hey! It's been like a million years since I've posted anything here, and this story is actually almost done, but this is the first time I've been on my home comp to get the doc up in like a year! So, here we are, and this is the second chapter of this story. Forgive me, I'll get righ on typing up the next chapters for your reading pleasure.

Thanks for sticking with it, guys. You're the best.

* * *

"Lillian!"

Lily Potter winced when her husband's voice shouted her name. He was drunk, she could hear it. She moved into the door of the kitchen where he was slamming cabinet doors as he searched for something.

"What are you looking for, Jamie?"

He turned, and a bright smile lit his face. "Hey, there's the little mum! I wondered where you'd gone off to. Come 'ere, dove, give Daddy a kiss."

"You're drunk." She accused quietly.

"Hell yes I am! The gang in Hogsmeade was buying to celebrate the baby. How's my boy doing today, anyway?"

"We're both fine."

"Yeah? That's wonderful. You should be so proud of me, Lily-love. I didn't so much as hug a girl tonight."

"Really now."

"Yep. I had plenty of opportunity, but I told them all no. My sexy wife was waiting at home for me. And lemme tell you, there were some disappointed ladies. But I came home early because I only wanted you." He said, lurching over to where she stood to hug her. "My beautiful Lily. God, I love you. C'mon, let's go to bed."

She carefully extricated herself from his hold as his hands began to wander. "Why don't you go up, turn down the bed and all that and I'll… um, I'll grab you a scotch, and be up in just a minute."

"That sounds great. Hurry, okay?"

"I will." He stumbled away and she let out a sigh of relief. If Jamie was drunk enough to stumble, then he would likely be asleep by the time she got upstairs. She took her time making a pot of tea, because she heard him run into the bed, the thump of his body landing across it, and the comforting sound of his snores drifting down the stairs.

When her tea was ready, she returned to the bedroom and shook her head. He'd managed to remove his clothes and shoes before sprawling across the coverlet in nothing but his skin. It was sad, how such a fault ridden man could look so perfectly angelic in repose.

She walked over to her desk instead of crawling into bed with him. Lily very rarely slept when Jamie was home, because she spent far too much time fending off his amorous advances. Settling in, she opened the door with a whispered word and pulled out the diary. It had been her closest confidant for nearly two months, and she was half in love with the bodiless Tom Riddle. He listened and talked to her in a way that Jamie never had. It was getting to the point where she would rather just talk to Tom. Dipping the eagle feather quill she favored into purple ink, she began to write.

'Good evening, Tom.'

'_Happy Valentine's day, Lily.' _The ink bled purple to red in his familiar script.

'Is it really that time of year already?' She replied, startled.

'_As of an hour or so ago, I believe. Do you have plans with your husband? It's a very special holiday. Perhaps he'll take you out to dinner.'_

'Does he ever?'

'_Ha-ha, no, I suppose he doesn't, at that. I'll be your Valentine, then.'_

She smiled fondly as she wrote back. He really was a sweet boy. 'And I'll be yours, Tom. Only I haven't a present for you.'

'_That's fine. I have one for you. I'm going to show you what my world was like.'_

'Oh? How will you do that?'

The pages of the book blew furiously until they came to the pages dated February 24th. As light shone from the book, two gleaming words appeared.

'_Like this.' _And the world succumbed to darkness.

"Lily? Lily, are you all right?"

She opened her eyes with a sigh as a voice she didn't know called her name with some urgency. A handsome boy was leaning over her, obviously concerned.

"Wh-where am I?" She stammered.

"Hogwarts. A very long time before you came here. Welcome to the past, Lillian."

"Tom?" She whispered. He smiled, and she couldn't help but smile back. He looked like every bit the sweetheart she'd thought he might.

"Happy Valentine's day, Lily. My gift to you is a respite from your boorish husband." He leaned to where she lay and kissed her gently. She drew back with a gasp, hand to her lips.

"No, no, no. You are _way_ too young for me, and we shouldn't be kissing." She scolded.

"Too old for me?" He helped her up and led her to a full length mirror. She recognized the place as one of the dorms. The Slytherin dorms, if she was correct. She'd never ventured into that dark place, but the decadent décor and the subtle placements of serpents, green and silver within it were quite a clue. She gasped when she looked at the mirror, because she was staring into her own 17-year-old face. Tom was grinning anew. "You look quite young enough to me."

"How did you…? Tom, how is this possible?"

"Magic, sweet Lillian, how else?" he replied. "And as to what we should and shouldn't be doing, you're not married right now. Not taken in anyway."

"But I am married, Tom, no matter what I may look like now, no matter where I am. I've told you that I'm faithful to my husband."

"As you wish, my valentine." His smile was patient, and she was grateful for it. "Come with me. Let me show you around."

"I'm sure it's no different than when I'll go here later."

"I wouldn't know. I'll be long gone from here by the time you arrive. So let me show you anyway."

"If it'll make you happy."

"It will. And I'm sure you'll have enjoyed yourself too by the day's end."

"I can't be gone a whole day!" She protested.

"Nor will you be. It will only seem you were dozing off for a moment. And should that beast you're tied to touch your sleeping form, you'll be returned instantly. The enchantment on my journal is ancient and powerful. The magic… Oh, Lily, I can't even begin to explain. But as you are, only I'll be aware of your presence, but should I touch you, we'll both become unseen."

"Well, well, Señor Smarty-robes. You've thought of everything, haven't you?" His smile dimmed at her words, and she frowned as his face grew serious. He caught her hands as his gaze pulled hers.

"When you have plans such as mine you must plan ahead." He murmured, stroking a piece of her red hair away from her face.

"What are you planning?"

"Why, I'm going to make you love me. But that's talk for later. Come, walk with me." He moved away, and she trailed behind him out of the dormitory and soon out of the Slytherin living quarters all together. As they walked, his words about his intentions towards her refused to leave her head. _I'm going to make you love me,_ not _we're going to fall in love. _A more obvious decision to have her firmly under his thumb. But why?

She didn't realize she was frowning darkly until a finger swiped down the bridge of her nose, followed by the gentle pressure of his lips on hers. She jerked back to find he was smiling again.

"Tom, I'm not kissing you!" She said.

"Who ever said you were, my darling Lillian? In fact, _I_ was kissing _you_. I simply couldn't bear that ferocious frown one moment longer. What else could I do? It seemed the quickest way to stop you from permanently marring your beautiful face with frown lines." He said innocently, his smile wicked. She felt butterflies start in her belly. This handsome boy was much too charming for his own good.

"I'm married, and you know that."

"You're unhappy in your marriage, so I don't care. I'm sorry, but your husband is a cruel tyrannical chameleon who brings you to tears more often than not and puts on the mask of the perfect husband for any one else that looks. You really ought to leave him."

"For who? You? Tom, you have no body, I'm too old for you, and I'm pregnant with Jamie's baby. What would I do if I left him?"

"Make a life for yourself! Do you honestly think you're happier with him than you would be without him?"

"I don't know! You don't know him, Tom, so don't judge my marriage!"

"Please, Lily, I don't want to fight with you. Come, have lunch with me. Pay no mind to what's in the future from now, because anything that happens here is of no consequence. As you pointed out, I have no body, and you're not actually here, are you? So no matter what we do, there can be no repercussions."

"I guess that's true." She replied grudgingly. His smile reappeared.

"It is utterly true. Come."

She went with him, and throughout the day, she got to see more than she'd expected. Teachers who weren't yet of age spoke to Tom in passing. The spot where the Whomping Willow would someday stand was bare and sunny. Areas that would someday be off limits were full of students.

The sun was setting, and they lay side by side on a blanket before a fire in one of the empty dungeon rooms. A picnic basket lay to one side, and a half empty bottle of wine. He went up on his elbow beside her.

"Have you enjoyed your gift, my valentine?" He asked. She grinned.

"I did. It was so exciting. Thank you, Tom."

"No, thank you. And because I'm so polite, and it's a holiday, I'll even thank you properly." He leaned down, and she turned her head.

"Tom."

"I ask so little. One kiss, given willingly. Is it so much? Am I so unworthy?" he pleaded.

"No. It's just…"

"Please, Lily."

When he turned her face back to his, she didn't resist. He smiled, and she closed her eyes as he lowered his lips towards hers. She could feel him, less than a hair's breadth away when Jamie's hands slid across her shoulders. Her eyes jerked open to see Tom's face fading. Surprise hit her when she saw the unmasked fury on his handsome visage. She blinked slowly, sleepily, and was once more in her bedroom with her husband standing behind her.

"Goddamn it, Jamie!" She snapped, jerking away from him. She'd finally worked up the courage to kiss Tom, and he'd ruined it! He was grinning.

"You fell asleep in your chair. And I'm awake now, so come to bed with me. You promised, Lily."

"I promised no such thing. Besides, you already fell asleep, and I'm not in the mood anymore."

"Baby." His voice was condescending, and that irritated her farther. "Has there ever been a day when I couldn't make you hot for me?" He was chuckling as he lowered his mouth to her neck.

"Yes. Today. Now let go of me, James."

"Come on, dove, give over." He continued to kiss and cuddle her, despite her protests, until she began to shout when he tried to tug off her robe.

"I said no, Jamie!"

He stopped for a moment, looking wounded. "You don't have to shout… Sirius is downstairs, he came while you were dosing. He's probably asleep by now. You'll wake him. Just come back to bed."

"I don't care of Sirius is here! Get your hands off me, James Potter, or there will be hell to pay!"

"Lily—"

A knock sounded at their bedroom door. "Jamie? Lily? Is everything okay in there? I thought I heard yelling."

"Sirius, please come and get Jamie. I don't' want him in my bed tonight." She called. Sirius entered with obvious hesitation when Jamie started to whine.

"Lily, there's no need to put me out. I'll leave you alone."

"Good night, Jamie." She finally escaped his grasp, picked up the diary and moved towards the bed with it in hand. Jamie glared.

"You know, Lily, it's starting to feel like you love that stupid book more than you love me."

"Go with the feeling. Sirius, please feel free to use the spare bedroom. James is drunk and will be perfectly fine on the couch."

"All right, then. Come along, old boy. I'll get you settled." Sirius pulled his friend with the ease of experience, and ambled out. "Good night, Mrs. Potter." He added mockingly.

"Good night to you too, single Mr. Black."

"Touché." He replied as he closed the door. When she was alone, Lily opened the diary to find that Tom had written something.

'_I hate your bloody husband. He ruins everything.'_

She sat back at her desk to write back to him. 'I'm sorry, Tom.'

'_Never mind, Lily. Please, sleep well.'_ The words faded quickly and she sighed before doodling a small heart.

'Good night, Tom. Please don't be angry.' Closing the book, she went to her bed. As she curled up under the heavy winter comforter, she sighed, contented with its warmth. Lily dozed, thinking back on a day that hadn't really happened with a boy who didn't have a body.

Lily stirred from a deep sleep when a hand slid across her belly and a male body moved close against her back.

"Ah, Evans, you warmed this big old bed up quiet nicely, even alone."

"Sirius!" She tried to jerk away, but he stilled her easily. "What the hell are you up to?"

"Nothing. I was lonely and Jamie's sleeping, so I thought I'd share with you."

"You are not sleeping in my bed, Sirius Black. Get out."

"Why not? It's not as if we've never shared a bed before."

"I wasn't married to your best friend back then."

"But you were dating him. And if I remember correctly, it rather switched him on to watch us together."

"We were just kids back then. Sirius, _let me go_."

"It was only a couple years ago, actually, and you know very well that you enjoyed it."

"I'm not going to cheat on my husband! Why does everyone think I should?" She replied, exasperated.

"He cheats on you, so why not?" She stared at him in shocked silence, and he sighed. "You and I both know he hasn't been faithful to you since the day you were married. Why the hell should you be the only one to remain faithful? There's no logic in it. He's had more women than you could imagine, Lily. I asked him about it, after you told me that you were pregnant. It suits you, by the way. You're absolutely glowing."

"Sirius!"

"Fine, fine, just letting you know… Jamie might love you in his own little way, Lily, because you made him responsible for once in his life. But he's not right for you."

"Just because he won't honor his wedding vows doesn't mean I won't honor mine. I won't have the entire Order labeling me a whore."

"Do you think I'd take off afterwards and tell everyone about it? Why do you have so much bloody faith in him? He's never done a thing in his life to deserve a woman like you."

"I don't know why anymore, to be honest."

"Don't you get tired of knowing you're in bed, alone with your happy conscious and sad heart while he's out with his women?"

"Sirius, just drop it."

"He told me about a girl he had once, a visitor in Hogsmeade, who had your build and the same name. He got a kick out of taking her to bed, said it was like seducing you, only easier—"

"Stop it!"

"Six times in one night—"

"Stop!"

"Every bloody way you've ever imagined!"

"Shut up, Sirius!" She slapped at him and he subdued her easily as she began to sob.

"Why do you do it, why do you let him hurt you?" He demanded.

"I love him! I _love_ him, Sirius, and I have for a long time. I've never gotten over him, no matter how hard I try! Do you think I don't _want_ to leave him? But now it's too late, because I can't take care of this baby alone!"

"You think I'd let you? Do you think Remus, or Dumbledore, or even that little shit Peter, for that matter, would let you? That baby already has more family than he'll ever know what to do with. You wouldn't have to do a damned thing alone."

She hadn't considered it, hadn't wanted to really think about it. And now her head hurt. She was much too tired to deal with Sirius and his options. "I want to go to bed, Sirius. Will you please just go away?"

"No. You'll just lay here and cry alone if I go. But I'll lay here quietly if you'll let me hold you."

"Fine. You get to explain to James in the morning why you're here."

"Gladly."

"Good night." He pressed a gentle kiss to her throat and she sighed again as he moved closer, cuddling her.

"Good night, Evans." As she drifted into a slightly more troubled sleep, She could have sworn she heard him whisper, "You know, I'd love you if you'd let me…"

* * *

Hope you enjoyed. The only way I'll know if people are still interested in this is if you read and review. :P And I won't post more chapters if nobody is interested, so you know what to do. ^_^

Jazzy loves you!


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